love
... until the right one comes along.

It took me nearly three years to write this story, but here goes.

Three years ago, I went through a major heartbreak. I was engaged to someone whom I was with for over 10 years, someone I met freshman year of college, someone who eventually left me for someone else he was having an affair with for months. When I found out, I didn't leave. I forgave him and, now looking back, begged him to stay. We went to counseling but four months later, he left (they are now married). That day, he called my mom to tell her to tell me that he wasn't coming home. Just like that, he was gone. I was devastated, my world fell apart. I was crying everyday for months but eventually I had to try to move on. I soon realized that I held onto that relationship for way longer than I should have but at least I can say I gave it my best.

I downloaded ALL the apps (Tinder, Bumble, Raya and Hinge) and began dating again pretty quickly. I was obviously not over my relationship and so I was dating all the wrong guys. Not gonna lie, I can't even tell you how many dates I've been on in the last two years. There was this period where I went on 7 dates in 5 days. How? I don't even know! Dating was easy, but finding someone on the same page as you is very rare. Most of them only lasted 2-3 dates, the few whom lasted 3-4 months eventually 1) realized he wasn't over his ex 2) decided that work is his priority 3) was intimidated by my success 4) used me 5) "didn't know what he wanted". I was disappointed and discouraged, to the point where I would say "I hate men."

Truth is... I wasn't ready to date, hence I was attracting guys who were also not ready. I jumped right into the dating pool after my break up because I was afraid to be alone and I thought distracting myself with other guys would be a way for me to heal. Man, was I wrong!

Fast forward to sometimes during January of last year, I had just gotten back from spending two weeks by myself in Paris. I was happier about being in LA and I felt like I got this whole dating app thing out of my system. I was still dating but I was much pickier with whom I was having a conversation with and I wouldn't easily meet up with people. Mark and I matched on Bumble and we were briefly talking until he wrote "I am going to be off the app for an indefinite period of time..." We haven't met in person and we only chatted for a few days so I thought, "Ok thanks for letting me know but I don't really care." Fast forward 7 months later in August, I received a message in my Bumble inbox from him saying hello. We started talking again. Apparently he had gotten off the app because he was dating another girl and wanted to give it a shot. That is something super rare with guys on dating apps nowadays so I totally respected and appreciated that. Mark and I decided to meet and went on a date. I had a lovely time but I was also casually seeing someone else which I was stupidly infatuated with. So when Mark asked me out again the next day, I said I just wanted to be friends. He said ok. Long story short... over that weekend, the other guy I was interested in totally flaked on me and I was, of course, DEVASTATED. Somehow, I ended up telling Mark about this guy. At that same exact time, a bird had flew into my kitchen window and I was also telling Mark about the bird. I sent him a photo of the bird sitting on my kitchen counter and he told me it was a morning dove. I calmed down as I was talking to him and an hour later the bird peacefully flew out the window. Googled symbolism of dove. Yes, it was a sign. And that night, he asked me out again and the rest is history.

It's been a long time coming. Right away, I knew it was different. It was easy. Not once did I doubt/question his intention. Before we know it, we were inseparable. Two months later, I was making pancake one morning and I jokingly said "What if I drop this bowl and it splatters everywhere?" Mark responded, "Then I would break up with you." And I was like, "We are together?"

Everything really does happen for a reason. Looking back now, I am so glad I didn't end up marrying that guy. I definitely dodged a bullet! And if it wasn't for all the other guys that didn't work out, I would have never found Mark. Every fling/relationship helped me figure out what I want, what I like, and what I shouldn't tolerate. I guess I am sharing all of this with you because I want you to know that heartbreaks take time to heal and that it is absolutely ok to be sad and angry. You are going to feel all sorts of emotion and that's ok. Feel all the feels, focus on yourself, discover new things about yourself. And when you are ready to date, have no expectations. These are things you can't rush or force. When you do meet the right person, you will know and so will he. It will just work.

Love Isn't Easy...

February 14, 2019

love
... until the right one comes along.

It took me nearly three years to write this story, but here goes.

Three years ago, I went through a major heartbreak. I was engaged to someone whom I was with for over 10 years, someone I met freshman year of college, someone who eventually left me for someone else he was having an affair with for months. When I found out, I didn't leave. I forgave him and, now looking back, begged him to stay. We went to counseling but four months later, he left (they are now married). That day, he called my mom to tell her to tell me that he wasn't coming home. Just like that, he was gone. I was devastated, my world fell apart. I was crying everyday for months but eventually I had to try to move on. I soon realized that I held onto that relationship for way longer than I should have but at least I can say I gave it my best.

I downloaded ALL the apps (Tinder, Bumble, Raya and Hinge) and began dating again pretty quickly. I was obviously not over my relationship and so I was dating all the wrong guys. Not gonna lie, I can't even tell you how many dates I've been on in the last two years. There was this period where I went on 7 dates in 5 days. How? I don't even know! Dating was easy, but finding someone on the same page as you is very rare. Most of them only lasted 2-3 dates, the few whom lasted 3-4 months eventually 1) realized he wasn't over his ex 2) decided that work is his priority 3) was intimidated by my success 4) used me 5) "didn't know what he wanted". I was disappointed and discouraged, to the point where I would say "I hate men."

Truth is... I wasn't ready to date, hence I was attracting guys who were also not ready. I jumped right into the dating pool after my break up because I was afraid to be alone and I thought distracting myself with other guys would be a way for me to heal. Man, was I wrong!

Fast forward to sometimes during January of last year, I had just gotten back from spending two weeks by myself in Paris. I was happier about being in LA and I felt like I got this whole dating app thing out of my system. I was still dating but I was much pickier with whom I was having a conversation with and I wouldn't easily meet up with people. Mark and I matched on Bumble and we were briefly talking until he wrote "I am going to be off the app for an indefinite period of time..." We haven't met in person and we only chatted for a few days so I thought, "Ok thanks for letting me know but I don't really care." Fast forward 7 months later in August, I received a message in my Bumble inbox from him saying hello. We started talking again. Apparently he had gotten off the app because he was dating another girl and wanted to give it a shot. That is something super rare with guys on dating apps nowadays so I totally respected and appreciated that. Mark and I decided to meet and went on a date. I had a lovely time but I was also casually seeing someone else which I was stupidly infatuated with. So when Mark asked me out again the next day, I said I just wanted to be friends. He said ok. Long story short... over that weekend, the other guy I was interested in totally flaked on me and I was, of course, DEVASTATED. Somehow, I ended up telling Mark about this guy. At that same exact time, a bird had flew into my kitchen window and I was also telling Mark about the bird. I sent him a photo of the bird sitting on my kitchen counter and he told me it was a morning dove. I calmed down as I was talking to him and an hour later the bird peacefully flew out the window. Googled symbolism of dove. Yes, it was a sign. And that night, he asked me out again and the rest is history.

It's been a long time coming. Right away, I knew it was different. It was easy. Not once did I doubt/question his intention. Before we know it, we were inseparable. Two months later, I was making pancake one morning and I jokingly said "What if I drop this bowl and it splatters everywhere?" Mark responded, "Then I would break up with you." And I was like, "We are together?"

Everything really does happen for a reason. Looking back now, I am so glad I didn't end up marrying that guy. I definitely dodged a bullet! And if it wasn't for all the other guys that didn't work out, I would have never found Mark. Every fling/relationship helped me figure out what I want, what I like, and what I shouldn't tolerate. I guess I am sharing all of this with you because I want you to know that heartbreaks take time to heal and that it is absolutely ok to be sad and angry. You are going to feel all sorts of emotion and that's ok. Feel all the feels, focus on yourself, discover new things about yourself. And when you are ready to date, have no expectations. These are things you can't rush or force. When you do meet the right person, you will know and so will he. It will just work.
01lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
This year, Mark and I are so excited to celebrate our first Valentine's Day together that we teamed up with Lucky Brand to share with you some of our favorite date ideas in LA!

You can see my post over on their Lucky Insider Blog here.

If you and your significant other love being outside and celebrate in a more casual way, sunset on the beach can never go wrong. Although Santa Monica and Venice Beach are popular, these spots can be quite crowded and packed with tourists. I suggest going a little south to Playa del Rey where the beach is just as nice but it's much more low key and private. For this casual day look, I am wearing a cute embroidered peasant blouse, skinny jeans, and this amazing floral trim wool hat... Because you know, the beach gets windy and I gotta keep that hair off my face when I go in for a smooch! As for Mark, he is wearing a soft knit top, corduroy jeans and these super cool olive suede leather boots. Whether you are celebrating Valentine's Day or Galentine's Day, I hope it's a fun and memorable one!
02lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
03lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
04lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
05lucky-valentinesday-love-couples-beach
06lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
07lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
08lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
09lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
On me:
Embroidered peasant blouse c/o Lucky Brand
Ava skinny jeans c/o Lucky Brand
Floral trim wool hat c/o Lucky Brand
Leather circle crossbody bag c/o Lucky Brand

On Mark:
Knit top c/o Lucky Brand
Skinny corduroy jeans c/o Lucky Brand
Suede leather boots c/o Lucky Brand
Wire bridge sunglasses c/o Lucky Brand

Shop our looks:


* This post is sponsored by Lucky Brand, but all opinions and photography are my own.

Love Is In The Air

February 12, 2019

01lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
This year, Mark and I are so excited to celebrate our first Valentine's Day together that we teamed up with Lucky Brand to share with you some of our favorite date ideas in LA!

You can see my post over on their Lucky Insider Blog here.

If you and your significant other love being outside and celebrate in a more casual way, sunset on the beach can never go wrong. Although Santa Monica and Venice Beach are popular, these spots can be quite crowded and packed with tourists. I suggest going a little south to Playa del Rey where the beach is just as nice but it's much more low key and private. For this casual day look, I am wearing a cute embroidered peasant blouse, skinny jeans, and this amazing floral trim wool hat... Because you know, the beach gets windy and I gotta keep that hair off my face when I go in for a smooch! As for Mark, he is wearing a soft knit top, corduroy jeans and these super cool olive suede leather boots. Whether you are celebrating Valentine's Day or Galentine's Day, I hope it's a fun and memorable one!
02lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
03lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
04lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
05lucky-valentinesday-love-couples-beach
06lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
07lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
08lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
09lucky-valentinesday-playadelrey-beach
On me:
Embroidered peasant blouse c/o Lucky Brand
Ava skinny jeans c/o Lucky Brand
Floral trim wool hat c/o Lucky Brand
Leather circle crossbody bag c/o Lucky Brand

On Mark:
Knit top c/o Lucky Brand
Skinny corduroy jeans c/o Lucky Brand
Suede leather boots c/o Lucky Brand
Wire bridge sunglasses c/o Lucky Brand

Shop our looks:


* This post is sponsored by Lucky Brand, but all opinions and photography are my own.
horizontalmakeup

I was drafting an Instagram post when I began listing all the skincare, makeup and hair products I am currently using (and loving) and thought to myself, "Wait a sec, I should write a beauty post!" So here I am! When it comes to my beauty routine, I am fairly low maintenance and believe it or not, it usually only takes me about 15-20 minute to get ready. It certainly helps that I am a shower-at-night person because washing and blow-drying my hair at night saves me 20 min in the morning. Strangely but fortunately, my hair behaves when I sleep so I only need to brush it real quick when I wake up.

For my daily skincare, I am currently using Clarins Pore Control Serum along with Freck Rich Bitch Cactus + Vitamin C Moisturizer and the So Jelly Cactus Eye Jelly. I really love how light and fresh these smell!

For makeup... I swear by Bobbi Brown when it comes to foundation and concealer! I use Skin Long Wear Foundation SPF 15 in Natural and Skin Foundation Stick in Warm Beige. I contour with Benefit Hoola Matte Bronzer and highlight with The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer Highlighter. For blush, I am obsessed with Lilah B. Lip & Cheek Duo in Beige/Nude. It's so creamy and pigmented yet super light and last all day! As for brows... oh man... I am TERRIBLE at drawing my brows (I got microbladed long time ago but I need to do that again soon!) but I don't seem to have any trouble using Total Temptation Brow Definer by Maybelline. For my eyes, I usually don't do ANYTHING with them unless I am going out or doing something fancy because my lash extension from Blink Bar is simply magical and I don't need any eye makeup. However, when I go out to a nice dinner or an event, then I use either the Dolce Vita Luxury Palette by Charlotte Tilbury or the Urban Decay Cherry Naked Palette and finish off with a cat eye using Fenty Flyliner Liquid Eyeliner. Is it odd that I only use liquid when it comes to eyeliner? Anything else won't last on my eyes and I've used only liquid eyeliners since I was a teenager. Mascara, on the other hand, is completely out of the picture ever since I go to Blink Bar for my volume lash extension. Seriously, it changed my life! Lipstick... is also not really in my life anymore. These days I mainly use Clarins Light Lip Comfort Oil because it's glossy, has a tint of color, and smells sooo good. If I am going to an event, then I usually rock some red lips.



Moving onto hair! Ever since I got my blunt bob and a new color, I've been obsessed! It's only been three weeks but I can't even imagine myself with long hair now. Crazy right? To keep my rosy blonde hair cool, I use Amika Bust Your Brass Cool Blonde Shampoo and Conditioner once a week. Other days, I use Kérastase Densify Shampoo and Conditioner. I apply Kérastase Lait de Soie Blow-dry Hair Milk before blow-drying my hair. Containing both coconut oil and Moroccan Argan oil, it controls frizz, detangles, and protects hair from heat. I wash my hair once every two days and the dry shampoo by Klorane keeps my hair feeling fresh in between wash. I've used a fair share of dry shampoos and this one is by far the best! Lastly, for styling and volume, I alternate between Living Proof Dry Volume Blast and Ouai Volume Spray.


Beauty Routine: Skincare + Makeup + Hair

February 3, 2019

horizontalmakeup

I was drafting an Instagram post when I began listing all the skincare, makeup and hair products I am currently using (and loving) and thought to myself, "Wait a sec, I should write a beauty post!" So here I am! When it comes to my beauty routine, I am fairly low maintenance and believe it or not, it usually only takes me about 15-20 minute to get ready. It certainly helps that I am a shower-at-night person because washing and blow-drying my hair at night saves me 20 min in the morning. Strangely but fortunately, my hair behaves when I sleep so I only need to brush it real quick when I wake up.

For my daily skincare, I am currently using Clarins Pore Control Serum along with Freck Rich Bitch Cactus + Vitamin C Moisturizer and the So Jelly Cactus Eye Jelly. I really love how light and fresh these smell!

For makeup... I swear by Bobbi Brown when it comes to foundation and concealer! I use Skin Long Wear Foundation SPF 15 in Natural and Skin Foundation Stick in Warm Beige. I contour with Benefit Hoola Matte Bronzer and highlight with The Balm Mary-Lou Manizer Highlighter. For blush, I am obsessed with Lilah B. Lip & Cheek Duo in Beige/Nude. It's so creamy and pigmented yet super light and last all day! As for brows... oh man... I am TERRIBLE at drawing my brows (I got microbladed long time ago but I need to do that again soon!) but I don't seem to have any trouble using Total Temptation Brow Definer by Maybelline. For my eyes, I usually don't do ANYTHING with them unless I am going out or doing something fancy because my lash extension from Blink Bar is simply magical and I don't need any eye makeup. However, when I go out to a nice dinner or an event, then I use either the Dolce Vita Luxury Palette by Charlotte Tilbury or the Urban Decay Cherry Naked Palette and finish off with a cat eye using Fenty Flyliner Liquid Eyeliner. Is it odd that I only use liquid when it comes to eyeliner? Anything else won't last on my eyes and I've used only liquid eyeliners since I was a teenager. Mascara, on the other hand, is completely out of the picture ever since I go to Blink Bar for my volume lash extension. Seriously, it changed my life! Lipstick... is also not really in my life anymore. These days I mainly use Clarins Light Lip Comfort Oil because it's glossy, has a tint of color, and smells sooo good. If I am going to an event, then I usually rock some red lips.



Moving onto hair! Ever since I got my blunt bob and a new color, I've been obsessed! It's only been three weeks but I can't even imagine myself with long hair now. Crazy right? To keep my rosy blonde hair cool, I use Amika Bust Your Brass Cool Blonde Shampoo and Conditioner once a week. Other days, I use Kérastase Densify Shampoo and Conditioner. I apply Kérastase Lait de Soie Blow-dry Hair Milk before blow-drying my hair. Containing both coconut oil and Moroccan Argan oil, it controls frizz, detangles, and protects hair from heat. I wash my hair once every two days and the dry shampoo by Klorane keeps my hair feeling fresh in between wash. I've used a fair share of dry shampoos and this one is by far the best! Lastly, for styling and volume, I alternate between Living Proof Dry Volume Blast and Ouai Volume Spray.


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